Bark and We'll Bark Back

IF YOU'D LIKE TO PURCHASE AN X-BOOK: Please contact us at seldomseensmith@roadrunner.com, or gpsmith@wrongtree.org Tell us how many you want and where you want them to be sent. The Deluxe Coffee Table Edition is only $30 while supplies last.  Shipping is free within the Continental United States.  OR, if you'd like to speak to a real person prior to making a purchase, please  leave us a phone number and we'll return your call.  Read more below. Cheers...SSS 


Be the first person in your zip code to own the X-Book!

Best described as a romp in the bushes...

Dante's Divine Comedy continues to be played out by Smith's sidekicks in a variety of  remote, thorny localities where emergency medical facilities are likely to be non-existent. No stranger to roaming around inside the eye of the storm, the author can frequently be found wrasseling rubber rafts and fleshy harlots down troubled waters.   

Operators are standing by in cyberspace to take your order.

Although somewhat less absorbent than the Sears catalogue, every outhouse in America should have at least one X-Book within arm's reach of the commode. Short story, 2-3 page format, is ideal for those with limited attention spans who enjoy a good chuckle at life and death situations.  

God-willing and the creeks don't rise...

Delivery is guaranteed by the United States Postal Service. Depending on a number of variables, this typically takes between 5-7 business days within the lower forty-eight states, Alaska & Hawaii. Tracking numbers are provided for every X-Book purchase.


Desert Rat, Harry Oliver, Chimes in...

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Maverick Author & Publisher of the "Dead Sea Chronicles" (1888-1973)

Recently, me and a couple of other mirage salesman were taking a leisurely stroll around the third ring of hell when we overheard some ungawdly laughter.  Given the sad state of affairs down here in purgatory, naturally, we decided to launch an investigation.   After enduring considerable suffering in pursuit of the source of this gleeful caterwauling it turned out to be gawddamn Lucifer himself! How a copy of your X-Book happened to fall into his devilish hands is a cause for genuine concern. Trust me Smith, this never a good sign. Landfills are his library!  

 

                                                                                    Note

            

                   Reserved for the comments of C.W. Clewlow, a.k.a. "The Clueless Wonder". 

                           

                       Assuming Hell doesn't freeze over before Clewlow kicks the bucket, I'd 

                                recommend checking  out "Cowboys & Lesbians" below...

 

                                     WARNING: R-Rated for Mature Audiences Only

                                                          


   

Cowboy & Lesbians (pdf)

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